Broken Heart

I think the hardest thing about being a Mom, for me, is having to sit and watch Paisley scream in agony while she gets her shots and blood drawn. We took her in for her well child visit yesterday. She was 29 inches and I think 22.2 lbs. She's doing great the doctor said. He had us go to the hospital today so they could do a blood draw and check for lead, anemia and other stuff. Thankfully Chase is able to attend all of her appointments so he holds her while she gets shots and blood drawn. Today she started crying so hard and they hadn't even poked her with the needle yet. She turned and looked at me while she was crying and it broke my heart. She looked at me like "Why are you letting them do this to me???" And the worst part about all of this, she has to go in tomorrow morning for the H1N1 vaccine. I'm so thankful she's able to get it, but I absolutely hate seeing her scared and in pain. Chase was able to get his shot today since he works in ICU. I'm thankful for that too because he's been around so many really sick patients and I worry about him getting this flu. I don't know what I would do if I lost Chase or Paisley. They mean the world to me. I love both of them so much. They are my life. We are so blessed to live in a day where they have vaccines to prevent us from getting sick. I have to admit that I'm super paranoid about this H1N1 flu. It's seriously causing me major anxiety. I think the fear of the flu will kill me before the actual flu does. Chase tells me not to worry so I guess I better end this post and get my mind on something else.